Love's Preposition
She once asked me
what I meant
when I said
'I love you'
Struck by the gravity
of that question
I had nothing to say.
It means so much
yet says so little.
It means
I want to be with you
talk to you
and surround you
It means
I want to fall over you
lie down beside you
and impress upon you
It means
I want to dive into you
swim underneath you
and fly through you
It means
I want to pick flowers for you
blow kisses at you
and cry because of you
But most of all
When I say I love you
I want to make you...believe
what I meant
when I said
'I love you'
Struck by the gravity
of that question
I had nothing to say.
It means so much
yet says so little.
It means
I want to be with you
talk to you
and surround you
It means
I want to fall over you
lie down beside you
and impress upon you
It means
I want to dive into you
swim underneath you
and fly through you
It means
I want to pick flowers for you
blow kisses at you
and cry because of you
But most of all
When I say I love you
I want to make you...believe
posted by Jason at 3:55 PM
1 Comments:
I love you too much
It should not be this way
Love should not consume me
I love you too much
It should not be my first and last
thought, breath, desire, urge
It should be silent, calm, receptive
I love you too much
To sit here silently
To wait here quietly
To jump and start at
every sound
Unsure when the pain
begins again
But listening for it
daily.
I love you too much
Too much
The thought that this is a mere illusion
of peace and tranquility
Disturbs my sleep
It pierces me and provokes me
I cannot hope nor dream
Afraid that lies and wounds
Women and wormwood
Are simply hiding, dormant for a time
Like a cancer in remission
Inside you.
I love you too much
I am alone wherevere I am
Unless it is with you
I am alone with friends
I am alone with family
I am alone within my own body
And deeply lost in my own mind
It was not supposed to be this way
I was not supposed to love you this much
I was not supposed to forget living
I am not alive nor whole nor anything so much
When there is an absence of you
It was not supposed to be this way
I never desired to love you more
Than your love for me
It is as though I have been lost for centuries
millennia and more
And the ecstacy at findng you, finding me in you
has not brought me the joy I imagined
No, instead it has brought me deep regret
For I envy your very eyelids for the sleep they give you
When I would be your lungs, your heart, your every organ
If only to have the time with you, and the immense purpose
That they fulfill for you…
Your love, my love, is sane
It is rational and pragmatic
It withstands time and miles
It is patient and kind and metered
I would give my soul to be able
to love you as you love me
But instead I love you recklessly
There is no rationale, no reason,
no temperance …
I love you too much.
And I love you too much to stay
To ever feel the pain again
of times gone by
But more
I love you too much to know
That somehow I love you too much
I wanted to be like you in every way
So why, why, why
Can’t I love you a little less, or you love me
Just a little more?
I am sorry, love, for loving you
so poorly.
Post a Comment
<< Home