PC²

I have a new-found respect for the order of things in this world. A renewed reverence for the paradox that language shapes attitudes at the same time that attitudes shape language. This truth was revealed to me through our use of terms relating to our computers. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the majority of our words for computer terms have something to do with violence and/or negative connotations. If your computer stops working it: 'Crashes.' If it does crash you have to: re- 'Boot' it. If your computer isn't feeling well it has a: 'Virus.' We 'Rip' music so we can 'Burn' it later, and if someone invades your computer they can turn it into a 'Zombie' machine. We have to deal with 'Bugs' and 'Worms' and if everything goes to hell we end up with a system 'Meltdown.'

So in the interest of trying to be more positive, I have come up with a less offensive lexicon when dealing with our computers. A PC guide to PC terms if you will. Now instead of crashing, your computer will 'Experience an Unfortunate Percussion.' We will 'Suddenly Seperate' music so we can 'Rekindle' it later. Now we'll deal with 'Diminutive Arthropods' and 'Persistent Platyhelminthes' and if everything goes to hades we end up with a 'Failure to Maintain a Coherent Information Structure.'

I hope this guide serves you well. I'm going to pass this on to the people in charge at all of the major software and 'solid-ware' companies to see what they think. Wish me luck.