Hate the Quiz Not the Quizzer

In an attempt to silence my critics and not let my writings become too heavy handed I have decided to post this entry which originally was one of those uninspired quizes that I hate so much. But people seemed to enjoy it so I offer it for you here for your viewing anguish. Enjoy.


1. Have you ever been searched or stopped by the police?
-Yes, and thank God they didn't find it.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
-No. How would I aim?

3. When's the last time you've been sleigh riding?
-Assuming that's not a sexual euphemism, never.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
-Someone else is always better, I only have two hands!

5. Do you believe in Ghosts?
-Yes, but I just hope they believe in me.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
-You tell me. Disney just bought the rights to my 'creative juices.' At least she said she was from Disney.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
-That depends. Is the pope catholic?

8. Jennifer Anniston or Angelina Jolie?
-Whoever even asked this question should be shot, burned, and have their ashes put in a vial that Angelina can wear around her neck.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
-Well, technically I can say anything I want but thanks to the Patriot Act it's probably best to keep quiet.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
-I'm awesome. (Just don't ask my wallet the same question)

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
-Yeah, I call it: 'The Weekend'

12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
-Not unless they drink all the milk and put the empty container back in the fridge.

13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
-I'm cheating on this one right now.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run the red light?
-No, and if anyone answered yes to this all I ask is that you email me with your nighttime driving schedule. Thank you.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
-Well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret now would it?

16. Arsenal or Chelsea?
-If I knew what the hell that meant I might answer.

17. Have you ever Ice Skated?
-Not since my mom cooly informed me that I was on thin ice.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
-I prefer to do my dreaming while I'm awake.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
-The last time I showed my...wait, oh when I laughed? Oh, nevermind.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
-Yes. (good thing you didn't ask me to prove it)

21. Are you gay?
-Why? Interested?

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
-I'll let you know when Jennifer Love Hewitt walks through my bedroom door.

24. Do you always wear your seat belt?
-Always. I'm too afraid that everyone else drives like me!

25. What talent do you wish you had?
-The ability to ask trite and mildly probing questions.

26. Do you like Sushi?
-Hell yeah. I even name each bite 'Nemo.'

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
-Yes. See question 24.

28. What do you wear to bed?
-I try to stick with blondes but I'm open to brunettes and redheads too.

29. Have you ever been caught stealing?
-Caught? No.

30. Does size matter?
-Not if you don't mind walking funny for awhile.

31. Do you truly hate anyone?
-Just people who write quiz questions.

32. Rock and Roll or Rap?
-Rock and Roll. Only because I can't afford the bling.

33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
-Helen of Troy. Although her bedroom skills are probably a bit rusty by now.

34. Do you have a relative in prison?
-No. (Thank God you didn't ask if any of my relatives deserve to be in prison)

35. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
-Yes. And I still can't figure out where the booing was coming from.

36. Do you know how to play chess?
-Very well. I just can't figure out how to get past gumdrop mountain.

37. What food do you find disgusting?
-Anything that we might otherwise keep as a family pet. Note to self: cancel vacation to China.

38. Have you ever played, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
-Yes. But I'm sure the game is much more fun if we're both talking about our naughty bits.

39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
-Of course not. But did you hear about.....

40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
-Yes. And then they told me they'd like to keep it that way.

41. Have you ever been punched in the face?
-This gorgeous face? Never. Well once... Okay maybe twice... Every day. *sniff*

42. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
-It's been a little while. But rest assured I passed 5th grade the second time around.

43. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
-Only if I didn't pay for it. Otherwise I just burn the theater down.

Stepping Stones

The steps we take
the future we make
over the coals the hearts we rake

The pain we cause
without a pause
into our prey we sink our claws

The tears we've shed
the blood we've bled
down this path we've all been led

The late night crying
our inside's left dying
is so often our reward for even just trying

But the fire's been kept
into our throats our hearts have lept
may you continue to take just one...more...step

She Must

Surely she must know
She must know the power she wields
the mind she inpires
the heart she steals
She must know the devastating effects of her eyes
hypnotizing and entrancing, making attractive captors
She must know the calming effects of her hair
even the Amazon is jealous of it's flowing curves
She must know the warming effects of her smile
if beauty could launch a thousand ships, her smile would bring them home
She must know the arousing effects of her hands
the fire she lights
the flames she fans
She must know the power she wields
She must know, for him, it's her presence that heals

Fairytale?

The grass was green
The Trees were brown
Her fire...red

She was ready
Her company afraid
The butterflies...enchanting

Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow may never come
Today is all we have

Once again she is standing near the beach. Heart open. Wondering. Wondering if she should step through the clearing to the other side. She's been here before you see. But maybe this time she won't end up wondering what might have been. Maybe this time she'll see if this el dorado is real or not.

The Earl of Ideas

I never could have fathomed how someone's eating habits could give so much insight into their personality. An explanation is in order I'm sure. You see, for as long as I can remember I have eaten the crust from around my sandwich first. I take my first bite in the front left corner of the sandwich and work my way around until all of the crust is gone. Then I can enjoy my sandwich with all of it's hidden treasures. Well the breakthrough came with the realization that this was actually a little idealist boy's attempt at trying to satisfy both his guardian parents' expectations as well as his idealist heart's desire to enjoy a sandwich on it's own terms. For once I had strategically removed the less palattable outer shell of slightly denser and browner bread material I would be free to enjoy my crust-less sandwich having fulfilled my social obligation that I "eat all of my food because of the starving children in {insert current famine-ridden country here}."

Does the way you eat say anything about you?

To-Do List

Make to-do list

Fall of the House of Us.......her

It's a strong looking house isn't it
The weak ones always look that way
So pretty on the outside
But dying from within
Such very poor acting in this un-holy play

And if a house divided against itself cannot stand
then ashes to ashes we all...



fall...






down.